Working Mom

Your New Family Calendar

One of the best ways we have to keep our family organized and on schedule is to have a family calendar posted in a central location in the house.  T and I created one over a year ago and it has been serving our family ever since.  Ours is made of chalkboard stickers and it is posted on our dining room wall.  Each month we update it with all of our various schedules.  Each person has a different colored chalk to represent their activities.  For my husband, since his work schedule changes every week, we write what his work hours are. For me, I work a 9-5, so i just write in when I'm off.  We also write in our extra-curricular activities, like when each of us have rehearsals or events.  T has his own color for his activities like dance class or doctors appointments.

Everyone posts their activities, so that everyone else knows what is going on.  That way things can be more easily planned and scheduled.  If we want to plan a night out, we just look at the calendar.  If we want to invite people over, we can easily see when everyone is free.

A calendar however, is only as good as how accurately it is maintained.  Its's easy to start the month and put in your work schedule or days off, and the already planned events.  Where the difficulty comes in is when things come up during the month, especially when you schedule things when you are not home.  Here are 2 things I do:

  1. Use a family calendar app like Cozi, this way when one person adds something to the calendar, everyone can see it. It really helps prevent overlaps when everyone has a busy schedule or at least lets you know when both parents have plans and you are going to need a sitter.  Whats great about Cozi is that if you are used to just adding events to your phone calendar, Cozi can automatically import those events to the shared calendar so you are not doing double work.

  2. When you add something to your phone calendar while you are out of the house, set a separate reminder for yourself to add that event to the calendar when you get home.  Often times we start the month organized but as we get busy, we forget to add things to the family calendar.  Then when the day of an event arrives we are totally flustered.  If you set up a future lunch date with a friend while you are out, add it to your calendar and also set a reminder on your phone for a time when you know you will be home to add it to the wall calendar. This ensures that your calendar is always accurate.

Now back to the wall calendar, I think a big bold calendar is best; especially one that is easily editable.  While the paper calendars you buy at the store are great for knowing the date and having nice pictures, they are not so great for this purpose.  As plans change, these calendars can get pretty messy.  I recommend either a chalk board or a dry erase board calendar.  These are not too expensive and they wipe clean, i.e. you can use the same calendar for years and years!

Here is a ready made chalk board calendar which you can get for about $20:Chalk Board Calendar

For our calendar, we just bought a roll of chalk board contact paper and cut it out to form our own calendar.  You can find a role for just over $6 here : Chalk Board Sticker

As a final option, here is a link to a dry erase board calendar for about $10: Dry Erase Calendar

No matter which option you choose, the calendar is only as good as how well it is maintained.

Pre-mom vs. mom vs. post-mom

Ok so the post-mom part of the title is a bit inaccurate, you never stop being a mom once you become one. I just mean to say post having your kids at home, but for title purposes, that seemed more catchy.

Today, I'd like to talk about why I think it's so important to be a multitasking mom, and it has to do with the 3 phases of a mom's life: pre-mom, mom, and post-mom.

Prior to becoming a mom, we all had lives and ambitions and we had a lot more time to ourselves to pursue whatever we wanted. We probably had jobs and families and all, but for the most part our free time was our own. Pre-T (my son), I worked full time, danced for sports teams, taught dance, took dance classes, was studying for actuary exams, and participating in community theater. When offered a new performance opportunity, I jumped at the chance. If a team practiced 3 times a week plus games, who cared. Dancing was how I enjoyed spending my time.

Now that I have T, guess what, I still enjoy dancing. Not only do I enjoy it, but I still pursue it. Just differently.

I still need to work full time to support the family. But my love for dance didn't stop just because I made a person. The thing about dance is your child rearing years are also your prime dance years. It's not exactly a field that you just jump back in when your kids are grown. Plus it makes me happy. I don't want to wait 18 years to make myself happy. So I adapt.

I still dance for companies and teams, but I choose teams that don't require as many practices. I teach at places that allow me to take my son with me and I specify when I am available to teach. I choose not to teach on weekends so I can have family time and I am available for all those fun weekend events that come up. I also select gigs that only require a few rehearsals, if any.

I make it work because while I love my husband and son and spending time with them, I know I am a better mom when I am feeling fulfilled. I am super lucky to have supportive family and friends as well. My inlaws are always willing to watch T if I have a rehearsal, my husband will bring T to my performances, and the places where I teach allow T to sit in class with me. Without that kind of support, I could never balance it all.

The emotional support is key as well. My husband encourages every endeavor I pursue. He never questions when I say I want to try something. When I decided to try pageants, that meant that our family vacations we're going to be wherever I was competing. My husband just asked when and where. He never questioned or complained or asked me to stop. We make it work.

This has a lot to do with my husbands pursuits as well. My husband works, but he also pursues acting. He understands the need to fulfill the part of yourself that was there pre-kids, so we work with each other so that both of us can pursue our outside interests.

Now back to the 3 stages. While it's important to pursue your interests during parenthood because you will be a happier better person, it's also important for after your kids grow up. If you do nothing for yourself when your kids are growing up, then what do you have when they leave? A lot of time and nothing to do. While it's perfectly acceptable to start trying new things at that point, it's nice to have something that you've maintained throughout.

You're the same person at all three stages. Your goals and dreams and inspirations may change, but you should never stop pursuing them. It's what makes you, you.

Love yourself and make time for yourself. It's one of the most important tasks in your multitasking life!!