1 to 2 kids

Transitioning From 1 to 2 Kids

Transitioning From 1 to 2 Kids

We are now 1 week from delivery day and things are getting real.  Soon our family will have another little baby in the house and we will be making the transition from a family of 3 to a family of 4.  In order to better equip ourselves for this change, I reached out to several other mom bloggers who have already lived through such a transition.  They have been kind enough to share their experiences and their advice.  Below are 3 interviews with current mommies of 2 with advice on surviving the transition.

1 to 2 kids

Jessica

Our first mommy blogger is Jessica Churchill.  She is the wonderful blogger behind the Domesticated Wild Child Blog.  Head on over there for some fabulous recipes and thoughtful product reviews.

 

1) Tell us a little about yourself.

“I’m a mom of two little boys, 4 and 22 months. I’m in my early 30’s and live in Connecticut. I’ve been married for almost 5 years and have a big ole mutt named Winston. I love weekends, summer and way too much television.”

 

2) How would you best describe your blog?

 

“It’s a blog about making life easier for yourself. It’s mostly family friendly, easy recipes, along with thoughts about parenting and reviews about products I like.”

 

3) OK. Let’s get down to business.  How is life with 2 kids?

 

“It’s hectic. If one is behaving, the other is getting into trouble. My biggest problem now is that my youngest wants to keep up with his big brother but isn’t fast or tall enough so he gets angry very easily about that.”

 

4) How did you prepare your first born for being an older sibling?

 

“We talked a lot about how he was going to be a big brother. We got a book about being a big brother that he loved and we read many times before the baby came. We answered questions and let him talk to the baby through my stomach. When the baby was finally here, he was very sweet and helpful.”

 

5) What were your biggest struggles managing 2 kids, especially at first?

 

“Having a newborn is demanding. Having a newborn and a toddler to take care of was very taxing. I didn’t have enough time to get things done and I was so tired. I felt a lot of guilt for having my big one fend for himself and learn to wait till I could take a minute to help him.”

 

6) What were you pleasantly surprised by or what was easier than expected?

 

“How well my oldest settled into his new routine. He accepted the new life and there weren’t too many roadblocks as we adjusted to our new family.”

 

7) With 20-20 hindsight, is there anything you would do differently? If so, what?

 

“Try to have more patience but it’s hard when you’re that tired. I probably would have taken advantage of more naps. Laundry and dishes will never end, your children napping during the day has a time limit. I would have taken more naps with my little babies.

 

Shauna

Next we have Shauna Armitage who blogs over at The Violet Moon.  This is a super fun relate-able blog about parenting, lifestyle and just mom life in general.

 

1) Tell us a little about yourself.

 

“I’m Shauna, and I like to write stuff while I drink wine — which is probably why my blog is so sassy. My husband and I got married young and we’re incredibly blessed that 7 years later, we still like each other. When I’m not writing about parenting, adulting, and travel, I’m nerding out to Harry Potter or Star Wars with my kids. Sometimes we even go hiking. Now, we’re about to welcome our third child into the world, and we’re pleasantly petrified to be outnumbered.”

 

2) How would you best describe your blog?

 

“Raw and honest. Parenting isn’t always pretty, and I want other mamas and dads to know that they aren’t alone if they think they aren’t doing it well. I write about what I think and how I feel; not everyone agrees with me, but my content is always good fodder to start a conversation.”

 

3) OK. Let’s get down to business.  How is life with 2 kids several years apart?

 

“It’s both fabulous and frustrating. My son was 5 when my daughter was born. Not only could he be my little minion, he could also be independent enough that I could focus on taking care of myself and baby without worrying about him falling down the stairs or something. At the same time, he’s very good with his sister, but I’m not sure they’ll ever be playmates. Sometimes we have to skip fun activities because she isn’t big enough to participate, or my husband and I have to take turns and one of us misses out. He seems so grown up to me now, and I feel like I’ve started over again! At the end of the day, they adore each other and I think the age difference won’t ever prevent them from getting along and taking care of each other.”

 

4) How did you prepare your first born for being an older brother?

 

“We talked a lot about what the change would mean for him, because we wanted him to feel responsible for the new addition. We wanted him to take ownership, so we drove home the fact that his help was going to be so, so, so important to us. He always wanted to rub my belly and talk to the baby, and we encouraged him to forge those little connections before she was born.”

 

5) What were your biggest struggles managing 2 kids, especially at first?

 

“Our new baby daughter was SO CLINGY, and I was struggling to stay sane for the first three months of her life. That made it really hard to give my oldest the attention he deserved and take care of myself the way I needed to. I really had to let go of the little things. Most days the house was dirty, we had cereal for dinner, and the laundry piled up. But we all survived, and eventually we all found a new groove.”

 

6) With 20-20 hindsight, is there anything you would do differently? If so, what?

 

“I would’ve asked my husband for help instead of trying to do it all myself. I think as mothers we take a lot upon ourselves because we feel like that’s what we’re supposed to be doing. In reality, a baby comes not just to a mother but into a family and it takes a village, right? I could’ve actually gotten a little sleep if I had asked him to take over making dinners for a week or handled the vacuuming.”

 

7) You are now expecting your 3rd. How exciting! How do you feel about the changing dynamic and now officially being outnumbered, kids to parents?

 

“I’m not sure. I was truly scared about #3 until we found out that we’re having a second girl. The first one is a handful to say the least, and now we’ll have two going through the teenage years together! (Shudder.) I’m pretty sure I had it easy having the first two 5 years apart. My toddler and my new baby will have an age difference just shy of two years, and I don’t think my little one is going to be great about sharing me. Once that is all over and the the newest addition gets big enough to be her sister’s playmate, I’m really excited to watch them become friends. (A mom can hope, right?)

 

When my second child was born, I couldn’t imagine a world where my son wasn’t the center of it all. Of course that changed, we all adjusted, and now I can’t imagine not having both kids. As scary as the beginning parts can be, I know that a year from now, I’ll see all three of my kids together and fail to remember a time when my life was so full of happiness.”

 

Maria

Finally, we have Maria Boicova-Wynants who blogs over at Family Life CEO. She covers all aspects of mommyhood including parenting as well as taking care of your self and your identity while being a mom.

 

1) Tell us a little about yourself.

 

“I am an ex-career girl (lawyer with an MBA degree) who turned stay-at-home mother living in the countryside and rocking it big time. I am now a psychologist, a laundress, a relationship manager, a supervisor, a nanny, a cleaning lady, an accountant, a financial manager, a driver, a gardener, a chef,… many things more… and a blogger at familylifeceo.com.

 

2) How would you best describe your blog?

 

“My blog is primarily about my life philosophy, about how to keep on developing yourself irrespective of whether you have a salaried job or not and of course about a whole bunch of practical issues pertaining to efficient organizing of a household and family life. On the practical side, from my blog you will learn anything from how to eliminate ironing, manage your food stock and apply geo-arbitrage in real life to tips and tricks on traveling with kids and childproofing your home. And on the psychological side, there is a lot on choice and respect towards others, about dreaming and working towards realization of your dreams, as well as on making every single day a special occasion.”

 

3) OK. Let’s get down to business.  How is life with 2 kids?

 

“Easier than with one! Seriously. When there is only one, entertaining him or her is your problem. When there are two – it is no longer your problem. They play together nicely, they (at least so far) adore each other. So, for me life became easier with two.  Also when you have the second one, you already know more or less what to expect. I remember changing the first diaper with my daughter – I didn’t know how to approach it, I was afraid to break her legs! LOL With my son it was already – yeah, another diaper, here we go. ”

 

4) How did you prepare your first born for being an older sibling?

 

“The difference between my kids is only 18 months, so there was not that much preparation. I was talking to my daughter that she will become a sister, but I doubt that back then she knew what was awaiting her! LOL

 

Good advice I heard from one of my friends and followed myself was to get an older sibling a present from the newcomer. Our son “gave” our daughter a big nice fluffy sheep as a “hello, now I am going to live together with you and this sheep is supposed to soothe your pain”. Our daughter loves the thing!”

 

5) What were your biggest struggles managing 2 kids, especially at first?

 

“It is difficult (but extremely important) to still pay enough attention to the older sibling. The small one obviously requires all your time, especially if you breastfeed. What I was doing for example, was reading fairy tales to my daughter while breastfeeding my son. Also, my husband was spending a lot of time with her. Finally when I was for example done with breastfeeding our son I would give him to my husband and pay 100% attention to my daughter: we would play and draw and run. It is important that the older kid doesn’t feel like you got yourself a new one and now he or she is no longer important for you. Don’t forget that the older kid before was the king / queen of the castle and now has to share the power! That might be painful, be sympathetic. 😉

 

Another thing, it is important not to push your older kid away. It is natural to protect the newborn and of course you have to make sure that the older kid doesn’t (even accidentally) hurt the little one. However, don’t scream and shout “get away!” if your older kid wants to touch, caress or even hold your newborn. Try to involve your older kid! We were washing our son together – I was asking my daughter to bring the washing cloth, to help me to wash the back of our son. Things like that! Simple things. It is very important both for your relationship with your older kid and for their relationship between each other. I believe that the fact that we immediately included our daughter and never pushed her away contributed significantly to the fact that now they play together and love each other.”

 

6) What were you pleasantly surprised by or what was easier than expected?

 

“It was easier than expected. Full-stop. Seriously. Just don’t forget about what I mentioned in the previous point.”

 

7) With 20-20 hindsight, is there anything you would do differently? If so, what?

 

“No, actually not. I am pretty happy with how things turned out. :)”

 

A huge thank you to the three mommy bloggers who participated in this interview and shared such insightful advice!  Have you made the transition from 1 to 2 kids?  Do you have any additional advice to share?  Please let me know in the comments.  I am all ears!!

 

Have a fabulous weekend!!

 

Cheers,

Emily

 

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Author : Emily Bendler

Emily Bendler is a mom, wife, full-time insurance adjuster, professional dancer, dance teacher, graduate student, and founder of I Hope You Dance, Inc., a non-profit supporting youth dance. Read how Emily used her dance ambitions to become a time management maven using the about me link in the main menu. Feel free to send Emily a message using the contact page which can be found in the main menu under About Me.
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Shauna
Guest

Great piece Emily. Thanks for including me!

Maria
Guest

I hope we have provided you some useful insights 🙂 Take good care!!!

Karin Rambo
Guest

Such helpful tips! We’re thinking about trying for another in the next couple of months and I’m terrified! We’re just starting to get the hang of having one!

candy
Guest

I had three and my daughter just had her third baby. It is a adjustment that is for sure.

Kait
Guest

I recently transitioned from 2 to 3 then quickly to 4 kids! 2 kids was such an easy transition for me as they are only 17 months apart – They are built in best friends. The first 6 months were tough, especially with all the diapers but thankfully they both potty trained very early! Great post, I love to read other moms opinions on the transition to more than one! I look back now and think how easy one was! Back then I thought it was so hard!

Cara
Guest

As a mom of two boys, it was definitely fun there for awhile getting used to having two, but now I can’t imagine it any other way. 🙂

Lisa
Guest

I am currently expecting our second child (our first just turned 2), and I found this post extremely helpful! Thanks for putting it together! It was fun reading the different perspectives, and I took notes from everyone’s advice! 🙂

Healing Mama
Guest

Going from 1-2 was a little rough. But I don’t know if it was the kids or just me. I suffered from PPD. Now, I’m about to have my third and some say it’s easy and some say it’s hard. Congrats on your pregnancy and soon to be delivery

Claire
Guest

It’s a hard transition! But it’s also unexplainable how much joy it’s brought me to watch my daughter love on her baby brother!

Jessica @ Domesticated Wild Child
Guest

Thanks for having me, it was a lot of fun!

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