The thing about life, is that there is always pain. Of course there are the big pains like sickness, the death of a loved one, accidents, etc. These are pains we can’t avoid.
We don’t have control of whether someone is in a car accident or if a loved one gets sick. We just have to live with these things.
But then there are the pains that we choose to live with everyday. These are pains that we can do something about. Pains that we have control over. Pains that we can prevent.
In any decision we make about our life, we are making a decision about our pain. We are choosing what kind of pain we will live with and what kind of pain we will prevent.
You would think that the decisions that we make in this regard would be in our best interest, but that is not always so. So often we choose the pain we know, no matter how difficult, than the pain that we don’t know.
Here are some examples.
Sally is a little overweight. She gets tired easily and is starting to have aches in her joints from the excess weight. She is in pain.
Now it’s not crazy pain. It’s not stopping her from hanging out with friends or doing her job. It’s pain she accepts. It’s pain that she lives with.
On the other hand, Sally can start exercising and eating healthier to lose the weight. That is also painful and uncomfortable. She wouldn’t be able to eat some of her favorite foods as often. She would have to make time in her schedule for exercise. She would have to make changes to the routine that she enjoys and is used to.
Sally has a choice between the pain she knows and has lived with and the pain of the unknown.
We also have Violet. Violet works a job that she doesn’t hate, but she doesn’t love. What she really loves is helping other women business owners successfully reach their target market.
Violet’s pain is spending 40 hours a week doing work she doesn’t love. This stops her from doing the kind of work she would really love to do. But it allows her to have a steady income and healthcare.
Doing the work she loves would make her happy about her work, but it would come with more uncertainty. She would need to trust in her ability to get enough clients to support her income needs.
Finally we have Mindy. Mindy is a stay at home mom who is just plain overwhelmed with motherhood. She has no time for a complete thought, her house is a mess, and everytime she sees an insta perfect mama she feels like she is failing. She is completely without motivation.
Mindy dreams about starting a side hustle with an MLM. She sees it as an opportunity to hang out with other women and feel more like the Mindy she was before kids.
But she worries that the household will get even worse if she spends time on that. And who will watch the kiddos? Will her husband support her?
Every day we are making a choice between the pain of the life we have and the pain of the life we want. Too often, we are choosing the pain we have because it’s familiar. We are already living with it and we’re surviving so why rock the boat.
The life we dream of has so many unknowns and we question our ability to handle them. We don’t want to try and fail, so we don’t try at all.
We think of the worst case scenario and then stop there. When we should be thinking of what we would do if that situation came true and then determining whether it really is that bad.
Life is full of pain. Pain of unfulfillment, physical pain, financial pain, mental pain, pain of uncertainty, etc. But in many cases, we get to choose which kind of pain we want to live with. The pain that keeps us where we are, or the pain that comes with going after our dreams.
The next 10 years are going to pass no matter what you do. Will you be in the same place you are now or will you be somewhere new? The choice is yours.
Cheers,
Emily
