Many people believe that in times like these, it is impossible to be happy. There is so much uncertainty.
When will we go back to work? When will the kids go back to school? Will we lose our jobs? Will someone we love get sick or even die?
There are so many possibilities and so many worries at this time that it can feel like happiness is way too far away. It can feel like our circumstances prevent us from feeling positive emotions at all.
For me personally, I have experienced a fair amount of drama in the last week or so. Last Tuesday, April 21, my brother died due to the Coronavirus. Not only are we dealing with his death and the unusual circumstances for his burial, but for the first few days we had to worry about my mother having the virus as she was his primary caregiver before he went into the hospital.
Then on Saturday, April 25, my three year old was playing outside after dinner and she ran into a metal chair. At first she was complaining of pain in her shoulder so we checked her out. There wasn’t anything visibly wrong so we iced it and put her to bed.
The next morning she was still in pain so my husband brought her to urgent care where we found out that she broke her clavicle. She is now stuck wearing a sling for the next 4 weeks.
Then on the evening of Tuesday, April 28, our hot water tank broke and my husband had to collect the leaking water in a bucket emptying it every hour until we could have it replaced the next morning.
It’s been a week!
I spend some time each day feeling the feelings. I miss my brother, I feel bad for my daughter, I’m sad about the box of things that got damaged before we caught the leak. Plus there is this great health and financial uncertainty that so many of us are feeling at this time.
But, I don’t focus on the hard things all day long. I give it time and space because it is important to work through these feelings, not ignore them.
But I also choose to find the happiness in every day. Happiness is a choice. We can choose to find the silver lining or we can choose to focus on the bad things.
We can mourn our loved ones and find joy in our memories of them. We can prepare our finances for worst case scenarios without dwelling on the negative possibilities. We can feel bad for the bad things that happen to our kids but focus on how we can support them and help them through these times.
Happiness a choice and it’s up to us to intentionally choose it every single day.
Happy people are not held hostage by their circumstances and they do not seek happiness in people or status or possessions. When we stop chasing the society’s definition of happiness, we begin to see the decision to experience happiness has been right in front of us all along.
But simply knowing that happiness is a choice is not enough. Fully experiencing it still requires a conscious decision to choose happiness each day. Below are ways you can choose happiness every day in the circumstances we find ourselves in these days.
How to Choose Happiness Today
You can choose one of the items below, try them all, or use them as inspiration for discovering your own ways to find happiness each day. Here are 12 ways to choose happiness today:
1. Count your blessings.
Happy people choose to focus on the positive aspects of life rather than the negative. A great way to do this is to have a daily gratitude practice. Each morning you can make a list of 5-10 things to be grateful for from the day before.
They should be specific things from that day, not general things like my kids, my home, my job, etc. When you know that you will need to list out at least 5 things to be grateful for during the day, you will be forced to seek them out, finding the positive throughout the day.
2. Speak daily affirmations into your life.
Affirmations are positive thoughts accompanied with affirmative beliefs and personal statements of truth. They are recited in the first person, present tense (“I am…”, “I feel…”).
Affirmations used daily can release stress, build confidence, and improve outlook. Affirmations should be chosen carefully, be based in truth, and address current needs. Here is a list of 100 daily affirmations to help you get started.
A good one during this time is “I feel the presence of those who aren’t physically here.”
3. Wear a smile.
If you want to look beautiful, a genuine smile can work wonders. But more than that, studies show that making an emotional face influences our feelings processed by the brain. Our facial expression can influence our brain in the same way our brains influence our face.
In other words, you can actually help yourself experience happiness by choosing to smile. Not to mention, all the pretty smiles you’ll receive in return for flashing yours is also guaranteed to increase your happiness.
4. Accomplish one important task.
Because happy people choose happiness, they take control over their lives. They don’t make decisions based on instant gratification, but based on the achievement of their dream life.
They make progress to their goals each day and find joy in the fact that they are that much closer to the life of their dreams.
This doesn’t mean never enjoying a treat if your goal is to be healthier. But it means occasionally choosing the treat because you know that you are well on your way to your goals and you know that one treat once in a while is a boost. But the rest of the time you make healthy choices.
5. Wake up on your terms.
Most of us have alarm clocks programmed because of the expectations of others: your job, school, or a waking child. That’s probably not going to change. But that doesn’t mean we have to lose control over our mornings in the process.
Wake up 30 minutes to an hour before your family and establish an empowering, meaningful, morning routine. Start each day on your terms. Whether you meditate, workout, or just spend the time drinking hot coffee and forming complete thoughts, you will start the day already feeling accomplished.
6. Hold back a complaint.
The next time you want to lash out in complaint towards a person, a situation, or yourself, don’t. Instead, choose to keep it to yourself at least for a while. You’ll likely diffuse an unhealthy, unhappy situation.
More than that, you will allow your feelings to calm and determine if it is really worth bringing up the incident. The more you talk about something that upsets you, the more upset you get. By letting yourself calm down, you will be happier faster.
7. Use your talents.
Each of us have natural talents, strengths, and abilities. When we use them effectively, we feel alive and comfortable in our own skin. Doing the things you are good at makes you feel happy about yourself and your contribution to the world.
So embrace your strengths and decide to operate within your zone of genius each day. You can use your skills for your work, for your family, of just for your own fulfillment. Just so long as you spend a little time each day doing something you are good at.
8. Meditate.
I know it’s hard during this time of social distancing to find solitude in your home. With no one leaving the house, it can be hard to find any time for yourself, but it is so important.
As the drama in our world becomes more overwhelming, the ability to withdraw becomes even more essential. Studies confirm the importance and life-giving benefits of meditation. So take time to focus on your inner self. Use meditation to search inward, connect spiritually, and improve your happiness today. Even 5 minutes of breathing in quiet can work wonders.
9. Eat a healthy meal/snack.
We are spiritual, emotional, and mental beings but we are also in physical bodies. We can’t separate our emotions from how our physical body feels. As a result, one aspect always influences the others.
Similar to how smiling can impact our brain, how our body feels can influence our happiness. For example, it’s hard to be happy when we feel sick. Therefore, caring for our physical health can have a significant effect on our emotional well-being.
One simple action to choose happiness today is to eat healthy foods. When your body feels strong and healthy, so can your emotions.
10. Practice one life-improving discipline.
When you better yourself, you feel better. To know that you have intentionally devoted time and energy to personal improvement is one of the most satisfying feelings you’ll ever experience.
Embrace and practice at least one act of personal development each day. This could be exercise, budgeting, reading a chapter in a book, taking a course, or a million other ways to improve yourself. Pick something that will help your life right now and commit to doing it.
11. Treat others kindly.
Everyone wants to be treated kindly. But more than that, We feel even better when we are able to treat others kindly. When we donate money, or donate our time, or do someone a favor, we help others, but we also help ourselves.
Treat everyone you meet with kindness, patience, and grace. The Golden Rule is a powerful standard. It benefits the receiver. But also brings growing satisfaction in yourself as you work to treat others as you would like to be treated.
12. Search for the silver lining.
Life can be difficult. Nobody escapes without pain. At some point and in some way, we all encounter it. When you are experiencing a difficult time, remind yourself again that the trials may be difficult, but they will pass.
Search deep to find meaning in the pain. Choose to look for the benefits that can be found in your trial. At the very least, you are discovering your ability to persevere. In additional, an ability to comfort others in their pain is also being developed.
Staying home is uncomfortable, trying to work full time while home schooling is difficult, but there are also benefits to being home. In our house, we are having more family game nights than ever. Together our family is binge watching Full House and the kids are loving (and so am I!). Though we can’t see our friends and family in person, we have more time to call them and catch up.
Take time to think of the many benefits of this unusual time in our lives. When you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, remind yourself that this won’t last forever and there are benefits to it too.
Go today. Choose joy and be happy.
If you want some inspiration, I started recording 100 days of happy on my Instagram starting this past Tuesday. Every day I am posting something that I am happy about that day. Feel free to share what you are happy about in the comments.
Cheers,
Emily
