Techniques

Evening Routines for a Better Morning

Evening Routines for a Better Morning

With the summer quickly coming to a close and the new school year started in just a few short weeks, routines have been on my mind.  This will be the first year that T will be attending an early childhood program in the morning.  This means that 2 days a week we will have to get him ready and out the door for school.  Our routines have been making a lot of adjustments lately: from one kid to two kids, from maternity leave to back to work.  This will be the last big change for a while, hopefully.

Getting Work Done With a Newborn 

Having a newborn is exhausting. With round the clock feedings, it's easy to feel like a glorified beverage dispenser. Add a toddler to the mix and you are on duty 24/7. And yet for the most part, I managed to stay active on my blog , complete one graduate level math class and am in the midst of another one. Also, I haven't given up socializing to do it. Hailey, Tyler, and I have attended 2 baptisms, a baby shower, a gender reveal party, a graduation party, and 2 bbqs all in the last month. We also visited the zoo and the park. I'm not magic, I promise. So how do I do it?

First, I prioritize. Family is first. So I make sure that we spend time together and go on outings. We are lucky that my husband is home during the day, so we really get to make use of my time away from work. After that is grad school work, after all I'm paying for that education so I want to do well and learn the material. Third is the blog. While I love blogging and sharing my knowledge and experiences, family and school come first. I work hard to stay consistent, but if something has to give, it's that. I mean how much sense would it make if I prioritized blogging about being a mom over actually being one? And how useful would what I say really be?

Second, I try to get as much sleep as possible. No one likes a cranky and exhausted mommy and a sleepy mommy is inefficient. So as I mentioned in my last post, my husband and I have a schedule of who is on duty at night. While I still have to wake up for the feedings. I am able to pass the baby off to my husband to put her to sleep and I can go straight back to bed for her middle of the night feeding. Then I am on duty for her early morning feeding. I also take a nap every once in a while. Without sleep, us moms get foggy, cranky and scattered. We snap at our loved ones and forget what we need to get done. It's better to have more sleep than more hours to get stuff done. With more sleep, we can use the hours we have better!

Finally, do things while you feed the baby. When you are feeding the baby you are stuck in one place for a good amount of time. Use that time. For me, I often use that time for studying or writing blog posts. Sometimes I use it for social media. Other times I stare wonderingly at my baby girl. But with 8 feedings a day I have plenty of chances to do all of these options. You might like to use that time to read, catch up on tv, or pay bills. Whatever you can do whilst sitting or with one hand is a good option!

Obviously, there is no pressure to get everything done when you have a newborn. To be honest, the house cleaning has been lacking recently. The toys are sometimes left out and the mopping and dish washing has been inconsistent. But, I'd rather have quality time with my family than a pristine house.

I was lucky enough to have a very smooth delivery, so I didn't feel like I needed a great deal of recovery. Therefore, I was comfortable mentally and physically to get back into things. However, everybody and every delivery is different. It's important to not push yourself beyond your abilities. No matter how smooth the delivery, it was still a delivery. Your body underwent a major event and you now have a new baby to care for. It's totally ok to cut yourself some slack. If you do have something you need to get done, use these tips to help you get it done.

Next post we will be talking about a fun Fourth of July craft project. See you then.

Cheers,

Emily

Stop Procrastinating 

Procrastinating is easy. We all do it. We even rationalize it. I can either do that one difficult thing or a bunch of easy things. We tell ourselves that getting more done is better. Often times however, it is that things that we procrastinate on that will help us move forward the most.

Eat That Frog is a fantastic book by Brian Tracy about ways to stop procrastinating. It is a quick read but really life changing. It teaches you how to get the most important things done. This saves you time and energy. I have found this book to be invaluable.

One of the biggest tips in the book is where the title of the book comes from. Essentially, it says to get the big task, the one you want to put off or avoid, done first. Often times we want to work up to the big task. We do the easy little things first. This means that the big task looms over our head all day. It may or may not even get done. Then the next day comes and we do the same thing all over again. It's a vicious cycle. The things we really need to do get delayed far too long or don't happen at all. Obviously, this is not good.

Instead, eat that frog means you get the big overwhelming task done first.  This does several things. First, it ensures that the important thing gets done in a timely manner. Second, it does wonders for your mindset and energy. Instead of spending your day weighed down by the thought of what you are putting off, you have a renewed sense of accomplishment. You know that you accomplished the really hard thing, so your other tasks appear that much more manageable.

So now that we know that we need to get out most important task done first, we need to determine what that task is. Thus we need to prioritize and assess our goals and the things we need to do. This book delves in to how to determine what exactly is the task that needs to be done first.

There are tons of great practical tips and advice in this book. I definitely recommend checking it out. You can click on the link above to get it from Amazon. Go check it out!

Happy Weekend!

Cheers,

Emily

An Exercise in Patience

So today is May 10, 2016.  I was hoping that today's post would be a joy filled birth announcement with pictures of our brand new baby girl.  Well, Hailey has other plans.  Apparently, my womb is so comfortable, she has decided to never leave... Tyler was 3 days past his due date.  Hailey clearly was determined to beat that record.  Now that she has beaten his record, I have no idea what is holding her back.

As any mom knows, the last month of pregnancy is already an exercise in patience.   You are becoming progressively more uncomfortable and you're ready to meet your baby.  Plus there are just so many things that you are missing, like having a lap, sleeping on your front, drinking wine, having a hot dog, having sushi, not being swollen, having a deli sandwich, etc.. The list goes on and on.  During your pregnancy, your due date is like the light at the end of the tunnel.  You think, I just need to make it to that date and then I will have a beautiful baby and things can start getting back to where they belong.

When you exceed your due date, it is hard to see beyond your impatience.  This year, it seems like everyone I have ever met became pregnant.  On top of that, in the course of the last week, 5 people I know delivered their babies. FIVE. One of them on my due date.  Some of them were even early.  For someone who is already impatient, this only adds insult to injury.

In light of my need to relax and just let Hailey come when she is ready, I have put together some tips for practicing patience.

Tips for Practicing Patience

1. Breathe:

Deep breaths have the power to increase your calm and slow down your heart rate.  When you are impatient, you create your own stress and in my case stress can actually delay labor.  Practicing deep breathing can help you reduce your impatience.  This is a great time to take a yoga class or go for a nice swim.  Take a bath or a long shower if you can.  Anything that makes you more relaxed.

2. Distract:

A great way to increase patience is to distract yourself from whatever it is you are waiting for.  If you dwell on whatever it is that is making you impatient, it will only increase your impatience.  Find something to distract yourself like playing with your kids, de-cluttering, grad school homework, anything that will take your mind off of what you are waiting for.  I am supposed to take my last final this week.  So I have studying to distract me.  Of course I also have the concern that she'll finally decide to come when I have to take my test, but my professor has stated that arrangements can be made.

3. Think:

Remind yourself that the thing you are impatient about is beyond your control.  Instead, think about any benefits or positives in the situation.  In my case, I have several positive thoughts to help me through my impatience.  My baby is definitely not a premie, so we don't have to worry about the health issues that can come with that.  We have gotten extra time to finish any last minute preparations for Hailey.  Tyler gets a few extra days being the only child.  I didn't have to spend Mother's Day in the hospital.  The later she comes, the more of the summer I have off on maternity leave.  This very much links back to looking at the silver lining which we talked about last week.

4. Figure Out Plan B

When you are waiting on news or results, its easy to be consumed with the waiting.  Instead take this time to figure out plan B.  What will you do if the answer is what you wanted? What will you do if it is not? In this case, I know that my doctor will not let me go past 42 weeks the latest and every few days I will schedule an appointment to make sure Hailey is OK in there.  Knowing that I will not go beyond May 20th still seems like forever at this point, but at least its a maximum.  Hopefully, Hailey decides to make her exit much earlier.

There are some great resources out there about things you can do to increase your patience including here and here.  However, many of these tips are for developing patience for some future situation.  These four tips are for the here and now.  If you are already in a situation where you are impatient, these tips can help you relax and be more patient.

Fingers crossed that Hailey is here by Friday.  If not, I will definitely be continuing to put these tips into practice.  In the meantime, I am gratefully accepting any prayers and positive thoughts that Hailey will grace us with her presence.

Cheers,

Emily

Positive Mindset: Celebrate Small Victories 

For anyone who read Tuesday's post, you know we were having a crazy week over here. To update you all, my brother's surgery went well. He is able to walk on the foot and is scheduled to come home sometime today.  Fingers crossed that everything heals well and he doesn't get another infection like last time.

As far as T goes, he is back to peeing comfortably on the potty. No more middle of the night emergencies or holding it so long he pees his pants.  On top of that, he actually loves his medicine and asks for it throughout the day. Can't complain about that!!

As for me, I completed both tests and already got the grades back for one of them. I got a 91!!! Yesss!! The other grade will hopefully be coming shortly. Then I have to take one last test next week and the semester is over. Of course I registered for summer classes, but we can worry about that later.

And Hailey? She seems perfectly content to stay exactly where she is...

Why Celebrate Small Victories?

We had a lot of little victories this week. Since each one is tiny, they can be easily overlooked. But each one is important to the person who achieved it.  An essential aspect of self care for busy moms is to recognize and acknowledge the small victories. When we too quickly shift our mindset to the next challenge after a small victory, our life becomes a seemingly endless series of challenges. Who can maintain a positive mindset when that's what you have to look forward to?

Instead, take some time to celebrate your mini victories. You can always move on to the next challenge tomorrow. A small victory is a victory nonetheless.  Hopefully, when you move on to the next challenge tomorrow, you can do so with renewed energy because you took the time to celebrate today.

How to Celebrate

Here are some ways to celebrate your mini victories. Share your victory with your family. Let them be proud of you. You deserve a pat on the back from loved ones. Have a special dinner or special dessert. It doesn't have to be crazy but something you wouldn't normally do for yourself. Go get a manicure. Take an evening off from grad school/blog work/whatever other work you do in the evening and let yourself relax.

It doesn't have to be an elaborate production.  Small victories call for small celebrations, but definitely celebrate.  And make sure you tell people about your victory so you can have people cheer you on.  Nobody wants to have a me party (The Muppets Movie, anyone?)

Tonight we will be celebrating my bro's successful surgery, T's ability to pee pain free, and my completion of my 2 tests. For us this will mean takeout and dessert. We rarely have dessert with dinner, so this is a real treat. Maybe we will be so relaxed and happy Hailey will come! Fingers crossed!!

Have a wonderful weekend and celebrate yourself!!

Cheers,

Emily

Part 3: Tips for Working Moms 

Here we are at the final part of the series on tips for working moms. We have talked already about mindset, prioritizing, and removing distractions in part 1 which you can find here. In part 2, we discussed practical tasks that can make family time run more smoothly. You can find that article here. In this final post, we will discuss essential things that should be included in your schedule to make you a happy healthy mom. We will also talk about why they are so important. Sometimes as working moms we feel like we need to spend 100% of our time outside of work with our kids. We can feel like time out for ourselves or with our significant other will only decrease our quality time with our kids even more. The thing is, if we don't nurture our relationship with our spouses and ourselves, we may have increased time with our kids but far less quality.

If you spend more time with your kids but don't take anytime for yourself, your kids get a crankier, more exhausted you. It's better to take some time out so you can be your best self. The following tips are things that need to be included in your monthly calendar to be your happiest self.

1. Spend Time with Your Partner

This is important for so many reasons. Firstly, it's important to let your partner know that they are still an essential part of your life even though you have kids.  They need to feel important and wanted as well.  Spending quality time with your partner can help you relax.  Take a break from talking about kids and stresses and bills and just enjoy each other's company.  This helps you promote a healthy relationship between the two of you.  This is important not only for yourselves, but it is also important to model healthy relationships for your children.

Secondly, alone time with your partner helps you get on the same page as far as the kids.  Know what their current favorite thing is, or what they are having trouble with in school.  You want to discuss how you are handling different situations with your kids so can have consistent behavior.

Lastly, you need to have intimate time with your partner.  This is essential to a healthy, happy relationship.  Sometimes you might feel exhausted from your day and just not be in the mood.  Do it anyway.  You will get in the mood.  A lot of the time, it's one of those things where you can fake it til you make it.  It brings you closer to your partner and can reduce stress, the very thing that was preventing you from getting in the mood in the first place.

Try to plan at least a couple date nights during the month, have a few evenings to chat about family stuff, and be intimate as much as possible.

2. Fit in Some "Me Time"

The unhappiest, most depressed moms are the ones who feel like they are constantly giving.  They give to their job, their children, their spouses, their family, their community.  They lose themselves by taking on the happiness and well being of everyone else.  They put themselves last.

This is an absolutely terrible idea.  In order to be the best mom you can be, you should be happy and fulfilled.  People can tell when you are faking it, especially kids.  By fitting in a little me time, you can renew your whole energy. It doesn't have to be a weekend away at the spa to be effective.  It just has to be something that makes you feel happy and fulfilled.

I love dance; it is my passion.  When I am not pregnant I rehearse and perform with a dance company.  This is my time to do something just for me.  We rehearse one day a week, a few weeks a month and perform a few times a year.  This is something I need in my life to be my happiest self. Sometimes I feel bad leaving Tyler behind with grandma when I leave to rehearse, but I always feel reinvigorated after rehearsal.  I'm excited to see him and he's excited to see me.

You might take some time out during the week for a group fitness class and enjoy the community of other women.  Maybe its a mani/pedi at the nail salon. Maybe a monthly brunch with your girlfriends.  Whatever it is that makes you happy and feel like yourself, make time for it.  It can only make you a better mom.  Your kids will thank you for it later!!

3. Plan Specific Family Time Activities

I know you love your kids.  I love mine too.  But sometimes after a long day, I cannot keep up with the sporadic switching from activity to activity and game to game.  I want to spend time with Tyler, but I'm tired.  Especially now at 38 weeks pregnant, going from puzzles to Legos to Mashems to puppets to everything else all in one evening just makes my head hurt thinking about it.

One or 2 nights a week plan specific family time activities.  Tell your kids ahead of time, so its something to look forward to.  for example you can have an Star Wars movie night.  Make popcorn and get them in their favorite Darth Vader jammies. Enjoy the movie together as a family. You get to spend time together and it feels like its an event for the kids.

You can plan a family game night.  Play Candy land and have the different candies from the game.  If you land on that area of the board you get the candy.  You can make or buy gingerbread men and decorate them together.  You might play Candy Land all the time, but this makes it a special event.

Little things you can do to make an ordinary event a little more special will be greatly appreciated by your kids.

I really hope you enjoyed this series of tips for working moms.  I know I enjoyed putting the articles together.  We can't be perfect all the time.  Some months things come up and we might miss a date night, or my me time might get short changed. We might let mom guilt slip in once in a while or we might accidentally double book a date.  But if we make an effort to work on these 9 tips, we will be happier, healthier, better, more loving moms.

In light of the upcoming birth of baby Hailey, on Friday, we will be talking about the transition from one to two kids.  Since I do not yet have experience with this, I have compiled interviews from a few bloggers and we will be hearing their advice on how to get through this change.  I will see you then.

Cheers,

Emily

Part 2: Tips for Working Moms

It's time for part 2 of our 3 part series of tips for working moms. If you missed part one, you can find it here.  Last time we discussed tips relating to mindset. We lost the guilt, found jobs that fit our priorities, and minimized distractions. Our next three tips involve things you can do to maximize your enjoyment of your time with your family. These are not new ideas, but you may not have previously considered how these habits will help improve family time.

1. Prep for your family's day the night before

This can be a hard habit to get into. At the end of a long day of work and family time, you just want to relax. However, a little prep in the evening can make for a far more enjoyable morning.

If you are not a morning person, getting yourself ready in the morning can be a struggle. Add kids and it only gets more hectic and chaotic. You are on a time table and a lot of things need to happen before you head out the door. Many of these things can be done or at least prepped the night before.

For school aged kids, have them pack their backpack the night before immediately upon finishing their homework. There is no reason it needs to stay out and this means they can just grab and go in the morning. Have them also set out their clothes for the next day. This makes for less of a struggle the next morning when they have to get dressed. If you pack lunch for them, try to pack it the night before so again, it is something you can grab and go.

For kids in daycare, you can make sure their bag is packed and their clothes are laid out the night before. Also have your own bag packed and clothes laid out the night before. This makes mornings run far more smoothly. You can't completely avoid hiccups, but you can minimize them.

How does this maximize family time? It makes you less stressed in the morning. Your kids get to see you happier and relaxed when you start your day together. When you are away from the house for most of the day, you don't want the time you do spend  together to be rushed and stressed. This includes the morning. With all this prep work done the night before, you may even have time to sit and have breakfast together. What a great way to motivate you through your day after having already had some quality family time in the morning!

2. Create a Family Calendar

I won't go over the practical steps to actually create such a calendar as I already have a whole post about it here. Instead, I will talk about why it's so important for working moms and dads.

Having everyone on the same page is essential for busy families. Calendars should be updated immediately upon notification of new events. This helps prevent conflicts and over scheduling. Prioritize family activities, make sure your kids know that their activities are important to you.

For our family, I work days and my husband works nights and weekends. Therefore, on any evening my husband happens to be off, we try to maximize our time together. Sometimes this has to be time to get things done around the house, but we try to make sure we have family time as well. For his weekend days off, we try to ensure we do some family activity like a trip to the park or the zoo.

Try not to double book, if possible. If your kids have an event make a point of not scheduling something for yourself. One of the most important parts of being a working mom is making sure your kids know that they come first. Emergencies happen, but if you generally make it to their events, it's easier to accept the one or two times when that's not possible.

3. Stay Connected During the Day

It's hard to focus when we are preoccupied with other things.  If we are at work and thinking about what we are missing at home, we will be less efficient and less happy.  Missing the kids can be a major distraction.

Some days I can easily get through my work day and then I'm ready for family time when I get home.  Other days I miss my peanut during the day and wish I could just be home seeing what he is up to. If I dwell on that all day, I'll never get my work done. I am a big proponent of recharging your battery. One way to do it is a quick chat with the kids.

On the days where I miss the little guy, a quick FaceTime call can really turn the day around. A few minutes chat with T and hearing about his day can really fill my cup. It also helps him feel like he has seen me more during the day. If your kids are in school, get a quick update on how the school day was in the afternoon. These few minutes of break time can allow you to focus better and actually get more done during your day.

I hope you find these tips helpful. These are concrete things you can do to help ensure that family time is enjoyable. They are little practical tips that can reduce your stress when you are around your family. In the last part of the series, we will discuss ways to maintain good relationships with your family and yourself. You can look forward to seeing that post on Tuesday.

In the meantime, enjoy your weekend!!

Cheers,

Emily

P.S. You can find Part 3 of this series here.

Part 1: Tips For Working Moms

Being a working mom is hard. Being a stay at home mom is hard too.  However, since I am not a stay at home mom, I don't really have as much insight into that lifestyle.  I do however, have experience as a working mom and I have learned a lot about how to stress less and enjoy both work and family.  The following will be a 3 part series of tips for working moms.  These tips are key for enjoying being a working mom and finding balance in your life.  Here are the first 3 tips to help ease the stress of being a working mom.  These 3 relate to your time at work.

1. Stop Feeling Guilty

It is so easy to feel guilty about being away from your home and your kids.  When your kids are young, you have guilt about missing out on their new discoveries and their activities each day.  As they get older you fell guilt about not being able to go on every class trip or having to send them to an after school program.  The thing is, this guilt does nothing for you, or your kids.  In order to combat this guilt, here is a quick project you can do that can help you again and again.  Take out your phone and in the notes section make a list of all the benefits to your family that you provide by being a working mom.  I'll start you out:

  1. You are helping provide for your family financially

  2. You are providing an example of a strong, hardworking woman

  3. You are able to have balance with adult time and kids time

  4. You are able to appreciate your time with your kids that much more

  5. Daughters of working moms are more likely to obtain more education and get higher paying jobs

  6. Sons of working moms are more likely to help around the house and be attentive to their children

  7. You are less likely to lose your identity due to your children

You can feel free to continue this list with the financial, practical and emotional benefits of being a working mom. Whenever you are feeling guilty about being at work and missing time with the kids, you can pull out your list and really read it.  Remind yourself of how important it is that you are a working mom and what benefits you are providing to your family.

2. Find a job/company that matches your priorities

When you first graduate and start looking for a job, you might jump at the first company willing to hire you.  You may accept longer hours or a longer commute or any other countless minor inconveniences that are simply not as important when you are young and single.  My first full time job was in NJ while I lived in the Bronx, NY.  The commute was ridiculous, but I liked the job, my co workers, and my pay.

However, as I approached getting married and starting a family I knew my priorities would be changing, so I started looking for a new job.  I found a position still in my field but much closer to home.  Instead of spending 2.5-3 hours of my day commuting, I now commute 20-30 minutes a day.  In fact, I work so close to home that I go home for lunch most days.  My current company also has more days off and summer Fridays.  They prioritize family and allow me to take time off to do things with the kids without feeling guilty about missing a day of work.

Every company and every field of work is different.  Not every job will have the benefits my job does and my job has its drawbacks as well.  There are a few occasions where I can be called out to work after hours or on weekends.  This is rare, but it does happen.  You should find a job that works best for you and your family.

3. Limit distractions at home and at work

When you are in the office, it is easy to get distracted from your work.  You want to catch up on the latest gossip or discuss the last episode of the Walking Dead.  Sometimes you might get distracted by social media.  It is important to limit these distractions as much as possible.  Now I'm not saying you need to be anti-social and never bond with your co-workers, but pick and choose when you will do it.

Say a quick good morning to everyone when you come in and then get down to business.  Chat with your co-workers at lunch or after you have completed a major task as a quick break.  Set a timer on your phone to vibrate after a few minutes to remind yourself to get back to work.  An important part of maintaining work life balance is ensuring that you can complete your work during the work day.  This allows you to maximize your time with your family at home.

My boss works on weekends and late nights a lot.  He's single and lives by himself.  While he does have a heavy workload, some of it he does to himself.  He will regularly sit and chat with people about the amount of work he has to do, or run to the store for coffee when we have a coffee maker here.  If getting your work done during the work day is a priority, then you need to limit your distractions so that you can do just that.

Limiting distractions is also important at home.  When spending time with your kids, you want to give them your undivided attention.  Checking a quick email or social media account is not the end of the world, but try to limit this as much as possible to when the kids are asleep.

I will acknowledge that this is not always possible.  For example, I generally try to do my grad school homework after bedtime, but when it's finals time, sometimes I need a little extra study time.  This might cut into family time a bit.  It happens.  Let's just try to ensure that it doesn't become a habit.

An important task for working moms is to make sure our kids know that they are our priority.  Work is for work and home is for family.  When we are at home, family is the priority and work is the distraction.  We should never allow our kids to feel like its the other way around.

I hope that you found these tips helpful.  The next set of tips will be coming on Friday and they will revolve around practical things you can do to  maximize your enjoyment of family time.  I will see you then!

Cheers,

Emily

P.S. You can find Part 2 of this Series here.

Hospital Bag and Sibling Bag Checklist

Hospital Bag and Sibling Bag Checklist

As of this Friday, I will be 34 weeks pregnant with baby Hailey.  This means it's time to start packing go bags for the hospital.  This time we have an extra person to pack for.  T will be spending time at grandma's while mom and dad are at the hospital.  This will be his first overnight away from home, so we want to make sure he is as comfortable as possible.  I have thus created a hospital bag and sibling bag checklist.  The first is a list of items for Mom, Dad, and Baby, and the second is a list for the older sibling(s).

5 Steps to Start Your Day Right

We've all had days where we wish we never got out of bed. You get dressed and then spill coffee on your shirt right as you are heading out the door. Or you leave home without the diaper bag. Or anything else that sets you up on the wrong foot. Here are 5 steps to help you start your day right and be able to overcome obstacles.

Get a good night's sleep. It may seem like I do a lot, and I do. Between work, grad school, teaching dance, blogging, my non-profit and family life, I have a lot on my plate. But I always try to get between 7-7.5 hours of sleep each night. That means going to bed by 10:30 to be up at 6.

There's no way around it. Getting a good night's sleep provides you with energy for the day, helps keep your mind clear, and even helps prevent the munchies. When you are well rested, you don't need snacks to keep you up! This is key for a productive day. A good night's sleep is never a waste of time!

Make your to do list. If you read last Friday's post, you know that I am a big proponent of to do lists and I showed you just how I make mine. Whether you do it in the morning or the night before, having a to do list ensures that you know what you need to get done that day.

It helps keep you focused and feel less stressed. You can even split the process. Do the brain dump the night before and then choose your 3 to dos in the morning when you are clear headed.

Exercise in the morning. Does that sound like torture? It shouldn't. Find an exercise you love and do it. I like a mix of weights and cardio. It makes me feel strong and helps me work up a sweat.

Exercise should make you feel energized when you are done, not exhausted. This sets you up for burning extra calories throughout your day, helps clear your mind, helps you fall asleep better at night, reduces your hunger and is great for your figure. You really can't beat that.

Even at 32 weeks pregnant, I'm working out daily. I've modified my workouts of course, but I work out and feel empowered for my day.

Eat a healthy breakfast. I’m not telling you what time your first meal of the day is, but whenever it is, it should be healthy. Some healthy proteins and fats can set you on the right track. Maybe even some oatmeal, or a green smoothie, or how about egg and avocado on whole wheat toast! There are plenty of options that taste good and are good for you.

Spend some time each morning playing with your kids. I get up at 6 am have my workout, shower and get dressed. Then it's time for breakfast with Tyler. He gets up around 7 am so we have a good 1.5 hours before I have to leave at 8:30 am.

Now part of that time is making and eating breakfast and doing my hair possibly. However, I make it a point to have some time where we just play together. Then when I head off to work, knowing that we already had some quality time together no matter what the rest of the day has in store does wonders for me.

Things may change when #2 comes and later when Tyler starts school, but for the past 3 years we have played together every morning and it's a great way to start my day.

What to you do to get yourself on the right track in the morning? Share your tips in the comments!!

Cheers,

Emily

Finding the Balance

It's that time again! Next week starts the next semester of grad school.  Last semester I enrolled in 2 classes completely unaware that I would become pregnant at the start of the semester.  It was rough.  Having a packed schedule during the first trimester of pregnancy is not easy.  This semester I decided to enroll in 2 more classes. Yup, I'm doing it again.  Time to see what school, work and everything else is like in the 3rd trimester.  My goal for these next few months: finding the balance.

This semester, my last day of classes is also my scheduled due date.  It is literally d-day, lol. I informed both of my professors of this situation at the time of my enrollment last October.  They promised that arrangements would be made so that I would be able to complete the semester regardless of when the princess arrives. Hopefully, that doesn't mean taking a final 2 days after delivery but I expect that the accommodations will be far more reasonable than that.  Luckily, I have prior experience with both of these professors.

So on my plate for the next few months prior to my due date May 6, we have a few things.  Obviously, keep growing baby Hailey keeping her and myself happy and healthy.  Then there's grad school where we would like to continue with A's and B's.  Next my hip hop class: I would like to have their dance completely taught by the time the baby comes.  They will have to have a sub the following few weeks and then the recital is in June so I want them to be able to be fully prepared before hand.  I am also set to choreograph a college production of Anything Goes in the next few weeks.  This is a big tap show, which I love, but I'm not sure how many actual tappers I'm getting.  So, we'll have to play that by ear.

On top of those things, there is continuing work on my non-profit, whose growth is slow but steady.  We are continuing to sell our calendars and will be bringing them to a few events.  We are also in contact with several dance schools to see if they can be sold at the studios.  If you are interested in a calendar or know someone who would love one, you can check them out here: www.ihopeyoudancecalendar.com. 100% of the profits go to support youth dance.

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Then of course, there is maintaining this blog,  helping T with his YouTube video project and work.

The best way to find balance amidst all of these obligations is to first list them all out for a specified time frame.  My time frame is the next approximately 4 months.  If you can, estimate the amount of time each item will take from your week. For example, teaching my hip hop class is 1 hour and coming up with that week's choreography is about 20 minutes.  So that's an hour and 20 minutes I put into my schedule.  Now on those days, teaching dance class is my workout, so that frees me up to do something different in the morning.  Therefore, I might schedule uploading T's videos on Friday mornings, since that's the day I teach.  I might then schedule 2 hours on the weekend where I will work on my non profit.  I also schedule 1.5-2 hours each evening for school work after T goes to bed. Once you schedule all of your obligations, the coming months seem less daunting.  You won't have to wonder how you will find the time because you already scheduled it.  This simple process can reduce stress immensely.

When things come up, as they often will, you can adjust your schedule, but its good to have a plan.  It's also good to have your tasks prioritized.  For example, if work gets super hectic, I may only be able to blog once that week. Sorry guys, but clearly keeping my job is the priority!! Lastly, schedule in some breaks and some family time.  Nothing recharges your battery better than some quality break time! It will also make you more efficient in doing what you have to do.

So, sit down, schedule your obligations and go get em tiger!!

Cheers!

Emily

Family Time: Mixing Work and Play

OK. So based on the title of this blog, clearly we're busy. We're parents and workers and family members and we have our own interests to pursue. We have bills to pay, houses to clean, food to make, and a laundry list of other things that we need to do in order to keep of family organized and running smoothly. All these things however, cut into the most important time we have, family time.

As I see it, we have 2 options here: do some of these things as a family, or let some of them slide. Only some. Admittedly, there are certain things that we can't let slide and aren't appropriate family time activities. Like paying bills. I have yet to find a useful way to include my toddler in that and it is definitely not something we can let slide. But a lot of our other tasks can be made into family activities.

Laundry, for example. In our house the break down is my husband loads the washer and dryer and T and do the folding and putting away. I always let T help me. Sometimes its actually helpful and sometimes its not, but we have fun either way. When I fold my husband's and T's t-shirts, T's job is to identify the characters on the shirts. Sometimes he wears special laundry time attire for this job, i.e. one of my husbands shirts. Another T job is to sort out all the socks so that we can match them and roll them up. He thinks its a game. He gets to work on his matching skills and we get to have fun together, AND the laundry gets done! Win-Win-Win!!

Another family time activity can be putting toys away. T and I play different games depending on what we have to clean up. Sometimes we have races to see who can clean up the fastest. Sometimes we put all the toys of a certain color away first and then move on to a new color. Sometimes we let some toys help us put away other toys. For example, recently Sulley assisted us in putting away our puzzles when were done playing with them.

A few other family chores include setting the table and dusting. T is excellent at bringing dishes and utensils from the kitchen to the dining room table. He also loves to dust. If he sees you with a dusting cloth, we demands a wipe so he can clean as well. We like to have dusting races and see who can clean their half of the table first. We also test each other to see if we can remember how to put things back the way they were. As long as its a game, it doesn't feel like doing chores!

Some things that slide: sweeping under furniture, sometimes the dishes, a full cleaning of the bathroom, definitely cleaning above windows and light fixtures. The thing is, I am OK with that. My house doesn't need to look like a museum, we live there and it should look like it. I would rather sit on the floor and play Legos than make sure my sink is constantly empty. Being busy means you have to prioritize, and for me, my priority is having fun with my toddler before he's not a toddler anymore.

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Your New Family Calendar

One of the best ways we have to keep our family organized and on schedule is to have a family calendar posted in a central location in the house.  T and I created one over a year ago and it has been serving our family ever since.  Ours is made of chalkboard stickers and it is posted on our dining room wall.  Each month we update it with all of our various schedules.  Each person has a different colored chalk to represent their activities.  For my husband, since his work schedule changes every week, we write what his work hours are. For me, I work a 9-5, so i just write in when I'm off.  We also write in our extra-curricular activities, like when each of us have rehearsals or events.  T has his own color for his activities like dance class or doctors appointments.

Everyone posts their activities, so that everyone else knows what is going on.  That way things can be more easily planned and scheduled.  If we want to plan a night out, we just look at the calendar.  If we want to invite people over, we can easily see when everyone is free.

A calendar however, is only as good as how accurately it is maintained.  Its's easy to start the month and put in your work schedule or days off, and the already planned events.  Where the difficulty comes in is when things come up during the month, especially when you schedule things when you are not home.  Here are 2 things I do:

  1. Use a family calendar app like Cozi, this way when one person adds something to the calendar, everyone can see it. It really helps prevent overlaps when everyone has a busy schedule or at least lets you know when both parents have plans and you are going to need a sitter.  Whats great about Cozi is that if you are used to just adding events to your phone calendar, Cozi can automatically import those events to the shared calendar so you are not doing double work.

  2. When you add something to your phone calendar while you are out of the house, set a separate reminder for yourself to add that event to the calendar when you get home.  Often times we start the month organized but as we get busy, we forget to add things to the family calendar.  Then when the day of an event arrives we are totally flustered.  If you set up a future lunch date with a friend while you are out, add it to your calendar and also set a reminder on your phone for a time when you know you will be home to add it to the wall calendar. This ensures that your calendar is always accurate.

Now back to the wall calendar, I think a big bold calendar is best; especially one that is easily editable.  While the paper calendars you buy at the store are great for knowing the date and having nice pictures, they are not so great for this purpose.  As plans change, these calendars can get pretty messy.  I recommend either a chalk board or a dry erase board calendar.  These are not too expensive and they wipe clean, i.e. you can use the same calendar for years and years!

Here is a ready made chalk board calendar which you can get for about $20:Chalk Board Calendar

For our calendar, we just bought a roll of chalk board contact paper and cut it out to form our own calendar.  You can find a role for just over $6 here : Chalk Board Sticker

As a final option, here is a link to a dry erase board calendar for about $10: Dry Erase Calendar

No matter which option you choose, the calendar is only as good as how well it is maintained.