We are currently living in a crazy time where tensions are high and people are taking actions that they normally would not. People also have very strong feelings on what they believe is right or wrong. The issues today can be life and death, right from wrong, and oppression vs. uplifting.
I am definitely not here to pick sides. If I’m being honest, I support individual issues on both sides. I’m not a registered member of any political party because I don’t think that any party represents me. I’m a minority, I live in New York, I am Catholic, I love studying health and fitness, and I care about both people and the planet.
As someone who has a platform, small as it is, I felt compelled to share a few thoughts as we navigate this time of confusion and stress and anger. These are some things to consider as we continue to move forward.
We are all human
I just want to point out that we are all human and we should be treated as such. Just because someone doesn’t share your values, does not make them any less human. God created us all in his image. Who are we to decide that someone God created as human, is inhuman.
Trump is as much a human and Biden is. I am just as much a human as you are.
When we converse with those who do not share our opinions, remember that. Remember that we are not talking to an issue, we are not talking to an anonymous screen, we are talking to a human. A human who has a soul and a value that goes beyond their opinion on a particular or even several issues.
Do Your Research
There are so many memes out there and so many statements taken out of context that even with the abundance of information out there, it’s really hard to know the truth. Therefore, it’s important to take the time to do research.
That means trying to find articles that uphold journalistic integrity or at minimum finding different articles showing each side of an issue. Any person can take a picture and then reinterpret the meaning. Anyone can hear a quote and understand it differently based on their own experiences.
It’s important to recognize what parts of an article or report are opinion and what parts are fact. Try to make your own judgement and not just accept the judgements of the person writing the article.
Don’t just look for the data to support your opinion, look at all the data. Then do your best to make an educated judgement.
Try To Leave the Bias Behind
Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Even if you don’t like a person and what they stand for, it is possible to acknowledge that some actions they have taken are right or good.
Even if you hate Trump, it is possible to acknowledge that prior to the pandemic we had some of the lowest rates of unemployment and he got many people off welfare. Even if you hate Biden, you can support his desire to reverse climate change and increase the minimum wage.
There can be a million reasons why someone would do something, say something, or act a certain way. It is very easy for people to assume that the reason a person whom they have disdain for acted a certain way is also disdainful. It is easy to use your negative beliefs about a person to influence how you view a situation.
It is hard to be objective. It is hard to see the positives in the people that we don’t like. It is hard to push aside our existing beliefs and judge situations independently.
But it is worth it. When we can find common ground with people, it is so much easier to discuss the things we don’t agree on. It reminds us that there are things we both see eye to eye on and its possible to get an understanding on other issues as well.
Assume the Best
When we are engaging with people with whom we disagree, we need to assume that they have a valid decision making process. If you valued their thoughts and opinions up until this point, you clearly thought that they had the ability to think and make rational decisions.
I like to assume that I am a good judgement of character. If we have been friends for years, I assume that you are a good person. I believe you have values. I believe you wouldn’t want to intentionally harm innocent people.
Assuming that, we need to go into conversations believing that the other person has a reason for their decision. Take the time to listen to their reason. Millions of people can make the same decision for a million different reasons. Don’t assume that one person’s reason is the same as another’s.
Arguments can be a great thing, but only when they are undertaken with respect and openness to the other side. That means no name calling, no sarcasm, no snide remarks.
I don’t always succeed at this, but I do try. It can be helpful to start with a statement like “I love you and I just want to better understand how you see the issue.”
What is Your Goal?
Often when we share quotes or memes on social media, we think they are funny or sarcastic because they confirm what we believe. But we don’t really think about or care how someone else might read it.
When sharing things on social media, try to take a moment to think about what you are trying to accomplish. Is your ultimate goal a unified country or no? Are you looking to change another person’s opinion or are you just looking for a high-five from the people who already agree with you?
Whether true or not, a snide remark or a sarcastic meme puts the other person on the defensive. I can acknowledge when one side or the other is right or wrong, but when you state it in a condescending manner, you are not convincing anyone who doesn’t already agree with you.
You can say something that’s true in a factual way. You can say it in a way that shows that you are open to showing the evidence that supports your belief. I think most people can agree that we don’t want violence. Then why are we sharing our ideas in ways that we know will incite anger, hurt feelings, and resentment?
Not every Republican is an uneducated, back-water hick, white supremacist that lacks the intelligence to understand and discuss issues. Not every Democrat is a bleeding heart uber liberal that demands equal rights for everyone except everyone that doesn’t agree with them on a certain issue.
Hurt people, hurt people. So let’s try our best to be less hurtful. We can share our feelings on issues without making everyone who feels differently look or feel like an idiot. While we can’t change what other people are doing, sharing, or saying, we can change what we do.
Take a Break
Remember that you can’t be all political and all emotional all day. It has serious impacts on both your mental and physical health. Stress decreases your immune response and who wants that these days?
Shut off the TV, shut off social media, have conversations about your work or your kids or that new recipe you tried.
While these issues are serious, they shouldn’t take over our lives and our attention. For both our mental and physical health, we need balance. We need to laugh, we need to smile, we need to hug. We need to have community and enjoyment. And we need a lot less anger and stress.
If political issues are taking over your life, stop. Close your eyes (as long as you are not driving). Take some deep breaths. Re-center yourself. Remind yourself that any presidential election is only 4 years. Remind yourself that by taking the above actions we can open minds and open hearts.
Pray. Pray for guidance. Pray for openness, for both yourself and those you love who don’t agree with you. Pray that God guide our political leaders to see the truth and the light.
If you don’t believe in God, then put these same thoughts out into the universe. We have the power to affect the people around us just with our thought and emotions, so think positive, hopeful things.
In summary, I believe we all want a unified country. Not necessarily one where everyone agrees on everything, but one in which we are free to have our own beliefs so long as they don’t harm someone else. We want a world where everyone has an opportunity for success, but they have to make the effort and put in the work to get it.
If this is the world we want. If this is the kind of country we want, it has to start with each individual. We are not our party and the other party is not our enemy. If we don’t want a civil war, then we can’t treat our disagreements as if they are battles.
We are all on the same side. The side of America. We all want what’s best for this country, we just happen to have different ideas on what that is and/or how to achieve it.
We have learned so much in the last year. Many eyes have been opened to things they were not aware of. If nothing else, so many more people are now aware of the issues. Let’s take this opportunity to make great changes in our world. This can be the best thing that happened to us if we let it. To quote Gandhi “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
I am so open to your own thoughts and ideas. Please share them below. But please only comment if you are also willing to be open and respectful.
Cheers,
Emily
